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As some of you know, our IVF cycle failed. Not surprising, with our chances being so crappy. Even though I was totally expecting the bad news, I was crushed… Doug was disappointed, but he bounced back pretty quickly.

I’m not sure what our next step is. I have a consult with our doctor next week. He will help us figure out if we should continue treatments, or not.

If we decide to try adoption, we will wait until we have recovered from this. I would like to end on a positive note. I realize that I am a very lucky person. I am lucky to have Doug, and we are lucky to have so many people who care about us.

Mandi

Transfer/Torture

My IVF source was right. The transfer is the worst part. It is a test of endurance. Imagine you have to pee worse than any other time in your life. Then imagine being told to hold it for 45 minutes. Every second is agony! Oh yeah, also imagine you are hanging upside down and someone is pushing on your bladder. That is literally what happens. I’m not going into the rest of it. Trust me!

The doctor said our 2 embryos looked good. So now we wait. I am on bed rest for 24 hours, so email or text me y’all.

Mandi

Embies

Just found out we got 2 embryos. We are doing the transfer tomorrow.

At this point, we are just along for the ride. No expectations. This development means my eggs are able to be fertilized, which we were not sure of before. If the IVF does not work, we will probably continue fertility treatments.

I have come to realize that I do not need to have a baby for my life to be complete. I am lucky to have my forever boy and my animals, especially KittyB. DSC01433

Mandi

The Retrieval

Just woke up from a nice (4 hour) nap. The retrieval went well. The doctor was able to get 5 of my eggs, which is what I was praying for. I can’t believe it! Unfortunately, there was a 6th, but he could not access it. Oh well, I am not greedy. 5 was what I wanted, because I was told I had 4 good ones and another possible egg. Our doctor will call us on Sunday to tell us if we have any embies.

I will NOT spend the whole weekend obsessing about this! I am looking forward to a glass of wine tomorrow, and hanging out with friends.

Thank you Jenn, for sending me pretty flowers! Photo_091109_001

Mandi

50 Sticks

That’s right. I have been stuck with needles exactly 50 times in the last 17 days. This evening will bring me up to 52. Yesterday Doug and I added up all the sticks, and now I am keeping track. I am now so desensitized to needles that I do most of my own shots now. Finding a spot on my stomach without a bruise or a track mark is hard, so it is like a game.

This morning I had my last ultrasound before the egg retrieval. Again, my doctor was clear to NOT get my hopes up. I get it, trust me. I get that him sighing and rolling his eyes during the ultrasound means: bad. He said we are going after 3 or 4 eggs, but I am secretly hoping for those other 2 to freaking grow. My doctor gave me even more Follistim and Menopur, so I am still on stimulating drugs. Which reminds me, our new total for this round of IVF is $12, 150.

The egg retrieval has been scheduled for Friday. I wish I had not read a certain IVF blog…that described the needle used to extract the eggs. As big as an arm! I think that should count as more than one stick.

Even though our chances of getting pregnant are very low, Doug and I know we are doing the right thing. We have to give it our best SHOT. Sorry, I am cracking myself up.

Hugs everyone!:)

Mandi

Not Eggs-actly Over

Here we go again! Our appointment went better than we thought it would. Four of my eggs became mature. A fifth egg is close. Since my doctor thought none of my eggs were going to make it, this is a big improvement. He previously told me we would continue with a minimum of three eggs. So, we will be heading for retrieval. We are not canceled.

This is good news, but our chance of getting pregnant is still low. Since I have so few eggs, the quality may be poor. This means I may make it to retrieval, but none of the eggs become embryos. Doug and I are far from elated. We are already thinking about other options.

My mood is stable! Doug is his usual calm self. 🙂

Mandi

:(

Sorry I slacked in posting this. Obviously the news is not great! Our IVF cycle will probably be canceled, due to a lack of response by my crappy ovaries. We find out for sure on Sunday. If we do get canceled, we will discuss our options with the doctor…and I will update properly then.

I did spend the entire day yesterday crying, and I was in bed with a huge migraine by 4. Doug was disappointed, but he remained his usual calm self.

I hate to write such a negative post, but infertility is truly awful. Doug and I are not giving up, though.

Mandi

Roller Coaster

Yesterday sucked! It feels good to write that. I spent the day sulking and obsessing. The rain prevented me from going to the pool, and I spent several hours perusing IVF blogs. I read the stories of many other couples, and suffered with them. One bright spot was a call from a certain sister-in-law. ❤

Doug named our one good egg Eggbert.

Right now, at this very moment, I can feel my ovaries. The left one feels huge! I am taking this as a sign that my other follicles…are growing? They must be. Grow, dammit.

Until tomorrow…

Mandi

Sigh

Not the best morning. Doug and I got up at the crack of dawn for our appointment. I had an ultrasound, and my doctor was not satisfied with the progress of my eggs. He decided to up my dose of Follistim, big time. I still have nine days left to make those little eggs grow, so we still have hope. I did have one good egg, so please pray for that one to survive.

My next appointment is Wednesday. We really need to have some good progress by then. I am going to try to stay positive. I would like to thank all of our close friends and family who have been encouraging us. It means so much to us!

Mandi

Progress Report

Today I had my first official IVF appointment. From now on, I will bee seeing my doctor every three days. The poor guy works seven days a week! Everything went well. I had an ultrasound done, and my ovaries were looking fabulous. That is what I thought, anyway. I got my blood drawn at the lab, and lucky me- I got the same lady as last time. She said, “Aren’t you the one who fainted last week?”, and I reminded her that no, I ALMOST fainted. She made me sit in the special chair, for fainters. I redeemed myself by not fainting or being squeamish. Since I am going to be seeing her every three days, I am glad we are getting along better.

I made the final payment for the treatment. So far, the grand total is a little over $11,000. Not bad compared to other places. My doctor in Nashville charged $14,000, and her success rate is half as good as my new doctor’s. Of course, the 11 grand does not include the money we spent on all of the tests and treatments prior to IVF.

My next step is to add two new medications to my routine. Tomorrow evening Doug will give me two injections. The first one is Follistim. This drug contains follicle stimulating hormone (FSH), and will help my ovaries produce many mature eggs. I can’t believe I am blogging about my ovaries. Too funny. The second drug is called Menopur. This drug has FSH and luteinPhoto_081909_002-1izing hormone (LH). So, Menopur stimulates the production of eggs and hormones. This will bring my total up to three shots a day. Don’t worry, I will be adding more!

Side effects…yeah, I am already having headaches. I might be the tiniest bit moody. Thank God for my new friend, who has been through this process. She had headaches, too. Right now, I am just trying to pamper myself as much as possible. You know, to keep the stress levels down. I am hanging at the pool, eating cookies, reading, taking mid-morning naps, shopping, walking the dogs and watching movies. Just trying to stay relaxed. 😉

Mandi

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